running style

Not talking anything technical here, this post is all about running fashion.  Have you seen this?  http://www.runnersworld.com/photos/top-10-running-fashion-faux-pas

Hungry runner girl mentioned this list in a post yesterday and I finally got around to reading Runner's World's top 10 running fashion faux pas today.  I was shocked.  First off, it neglected some of the worst running fashion sins.  Second, it needlessly included non-faux pas.  Third, how am I supposed to know what the worst faux pas is if the list is in no meaningful order?

Here's runner's world list with my thoughts:
1.  toe shoes with tall socks: sure, the shoes are meant to be worn sockless, but how is a tall sock with a toe shoe any different than a compression sleeve with a toe shoe?  My stance on this is that if you're going to wear tall socks they should be a fun color or pattern.
2.  tucking in a t-shirt: really? this made the list?  weird? yes.  noteworthy? no.  Also I think they should clarify whether this applies in the winter.  Have you heard of wind chill?  You need to tuck in your base layer!
3.  trisuit in a single sport race: valid complaint.
4.  running shirtless in a blizzard:  if it's blizzarding and you look good shirtless, I totally support your decision to go shirtless.
5.  racing shirtless in a blizzard: WHY IS THIS A SEPARATE FAUX PAS???
6.  Wild hair, i.e. wearing your hair free:  debatable.  on the one hand, i'm jealous of women who can run with their hair down and have it look good and not feel gross stcking to the back of your neck (i'm looking at you Blake Lively in that movie about unrealistic pen-pal pants).  on the other hand, if someone was running next to me and her hair got stuck to my arm i would be incredibly grossed out.
7.  shorts over tights:  this is not a faux pas, this is a great idea and runner's world even says it's a great idea.
8.  matchy-matchy clothing coordination: meh, whatevs.
9.  too much makeup: sure, if you've got pageant makeup on, that's excessive, but I absolutely wear make up to races and in general when i run.
10.  inappropriate shorts length:  yes.  this should be near the top of the list.

My List (Letterman styles) is much shorter:
4.  Non-secure hydration--if your method is to carry your hydration on you and drop your water bottles as you go, on behalf of everyone behind you "NOT COOL."
3.  Inapprop shorts length--unless you're Kara Goucher or some other elite runner, you don't need to run in a bikini bottom.  also, your shorts shouldn't show butt cheek.  
2.  Ill fitting Sports Bra--this relates to a number of issues, bounce that causes spectators pain, muffin boob, and other bra/boob related quandaries.
1.  The dreaded toe--friends don't let friends leave home in shorts/pants/whatevs that cause toe.  DON'T DO IT.

Michael Bolton: running motivator

Guys... I ran really awesome tonight.  By which I mean that my first mile was sub 9 and my overall pace was a 9:29, which for me is incredibly fast.  And it's all thanks to Michael Bolton.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Yes, THAT Michael Bolton.  Who knew?  All this time I've thought pop, rap, or hip hop was the way to go.  All this time I've been wrong.  We're going to start our songs with one song, and one song only . . . "Jack Sparrow" by Lonely Island Featuring Michael Bolton.  I dare you not to run happy with that as your opener.  I had a golden retriever smile as a pranced (I say prance because there was a straight up spring in my step) down Lafayette Hill.   Yes I start my runs with a downhill, yes I recognize that what I really need is uphill training, but the joy of the downhill . . . I refuse to give it up. 

What's your favorite running song?

four miles of "WTF was I thinking?!"

Saturday was my first run over a 5k in a very long time.  I'm actually not entirely sure the last time I exceeded a 5k.  I'm confident that in 2010 when my longest "training run" for my last half marathon (with Lilly who somehow routinely doesn't train for these things and is fine, you bastard) was 6 miles, I'm confident that that year I ran over 3.1 miles.  I guess I'm fairly certain I've done some 3.5 mile runs since then as well.  But what I'm saying here is that I usually tap out around 3.1 miles.  That was not the case on Saturday.

The run:  I fueled for my run like a boss: bagel sando, donut for dessert, half a grande cafe au lait.  Wait, what do you mean that's not running fuel?  Here's what I have to say: it's better than last year when I had a cheeseburger and fries an hour before a 5k and had to stop at mile 2 because we ran past a restaurant and the smell of the fries almost made me toss my dinner.  So what I'm saying is that donuts are better fuel than burgers.  Also, waiting 2 hours post bagel donut breakfast bonanza is a good call.  The run started out fine, but slower than I wanted.  It did not improve when at mile 1 I made the turn onto a straight mile of obnoxious incline.  Today I will say I'd rather a short but steep hill than a mile long incline.  In October I may want to shank my today self for saying that.  Lilly can vouch that when faced with an incline I turn into a whiny bia and occasionally resort to singing to cheer myself.  On this run I was just dejected by the incline.  It did not help that at the end of the incline I turned right and had another half mile of incline.  It also did not help that I decided I would use my old 3 mile route by my parents' house and just wing it on tacking on an additional mile.  I have no sense of distance, I'm not sure why I thought adding an extra couple of blocks would do it, but I was wrong.  I ended up adding a nice little downhill section (regrettably followed by more incline, ugh), and then just having to run a half mile past my parents' house to get myself to 4 miles.  In total I ran about a 10:30 pace.  That's faster than my pace for my  previous halfs, but slower than I had hoped to be able to run the Nike.  Realistically I should probably be really impressed if I can manage that pace.

Knee injury update:  started seeing a new physical therapist.  It's possible by knee pain is due to an IT band issue.  It's also possible I'm in overly stabilizing running shoes (I wear the adrenaline GTS, I think Lilly does too).  My PT is having me test of the Ravenna on Thursday, update to follow.  My PT has also put me on an IT ban foam rolling regimen.  Tonight I whimpered and yelped through the 6 minutes she's prescribed.  I was promised that after a few days it wouldn't be quite as bad.  Today is day one.

Ideas needed: I want to have something funny on the back of my tank for the race.  So far all I've found that I love is "did someone just fartlek?"

hill training in the midwest

i'm unclear on how i'm going to survive the nike half when the hills of san francisco would laugh at me even calling the inclines in the milwaukee area hills.   i hate running uphill at all, any incline will lead to complaints.  i probably should've thought about that before registering for the race.  LILLY HELP!!!!!

thoughts on compression shorts

You guys... Lilly suggested that I try compression shorts.  Or maybe she wore them and I felt like I should be wearing them too if I wanted to be taken seriously.  Or maybe it just got "too damn hot for a penguin to be walking around" (in capris).  Lilly, that's a Billy Madison reference.  Lilly is not a movie quoter, but you can expect movie quotes from me.  Regardless, I bought a pair over fourth of July  week and then shoved them in my dresser in shame.  They show too much skin.  They give me slight muffin top unless I pull them up higher than I usually wear my capris.  They are not see through and they do not cause the dreaded toe.  So the other day, second night of bastille days in Milwaukee, it was hot out and I went for a run with a friend and I thought, this is the chance to try them.  But I'm self conscious, so I wore an attention grabbing lulu tank (link below) that covers my butt.  

You guys... I looked like a volleyball player, and the compression made my legs look thinner.  I would be lying if I told you I didn't strut my way out of my building.  My building has a long hallway with chandeliers and mirrors.  It's very 1920s glamorous.  So I did my little strut walk, got my friend, and ran 2 miles as prescribed.  

Review of underarmour compression shorts, mid length:  Flattering in the legs, not flattering at the waist.  Stayed in place nicely, they did not do the dreaded ride up while I ran.  Zero toe situation.  Soft fabric.  Major complaints:  I'm mildly concerned they might be a little sheer and I didn't like the fit at the waist.

Review of my beloved lulu tank:  first thing's first, this is a tank with a built in bra and the bra lists as "low support."  I bought this tank to wear to barre.  Then I scheduled a running date and thought "I am wearing my tank bc I look good in this thing," so I did a test run in it.  I would say I'm on the slightly higher end of average in bust size, certainly not huge, but definitely not flat.  I love this tank for running.  It breathes.  It's supportive.  It's eye catching and distracts people from thinking about my compression shorts.  Also, it's sexy.  Who doesn't like to feel hot when they run if it's not at the expense of performance/comfort?  When I say it's supportive, I should caveat that I do not have broad shoulders and I have small ribs, so I'm able to buy lulu tops in a smaller size, which may add to the support.  I also love that the bra is lined, so if I wanted to wear this out during the day before meeting up for a run, it'd be totally fine.  Or if I just wanted to wear it as a shirt, totally fine.  I also like that this covers my not insubstantial booty. 

Running in the heat, part deux

Hey Lilly.  Way to make us all look like amateurs by doing speed work in the heat.  Well played.

I didn't run in the heat like you did.  I made the call that I should wait until morning for my run, because it was allegedly going to be in the 70s.  It was not.  Or it might have been that I slept a little later than I should have?  Let's blame the meteorologists though, because they're wrong ALL the time.

So I ran.  In the morning.  With NO SUNGLASSES.  It was awful.  I could feel crows feet growing on my face.  Also I think there may have been a situation with my ipod that day, like I maybe had to use my ipone instead because my ipod likes to just uncharge at random without being used.  

I should probably clarify here.  Lilly's plan has me do 2 short runs during the week and a longer run on the weekend.  I flopped the longer run, it's early in the plan, so it was a 3 miler, with a shorter run to accommodate the fact that I would have to run on a treadmill over the weekend.  I HATE TREADMILL RUNNING.  Anyways, the run was going just fine, a bit slow because it was HOT and MUGGY and I was UNHAPPY.  So I finish the run (is it okay that I ran just OVER 3 miles when you said 3 miles?  It felt like it was okay) in my usual spot and realize, "hey genius, you've been sweating buckets and you now have to walk up some stairs and then a slight incline to get to you building.  nice planning."  I had to take five at the top of the steps to contemplate voming, but I stayed strong, walked home, and when I got home and the water wasn't cold enough to drink, I shoved my head in the sink.  Then I packed my stuff and left for Dallas, where I did my 2 miler on the treadmill next to a bunch of people who were walking.  I would be lying if I said I didn't strut through the hotel gym after my speedy run past all the other people who were leisurely walking and leisurely biking.  It's possible there was a hot guy in the gym lazily biking at the end of the machine... it's also possible that I walked over and did my stretching and ab work in his line of view and gave him a "you're welcome" nod when I was done.

Running in the heat. aka finding lots of reasons not to run.

Hey Jacey - how is your training going?

I developed a half marathon training plan for Jacey.  I even scheduled it around her current life (because i didn't just half ass this/download hal higdon's plan and email it to her -- she is more than capable of doing that on her own). 

Last night, i got a text asking "what if i run in place for 30 minutes in my airconditioned apartment...does that count?"

No. No, that totally doesn't. But i feel her pain.  Its well over 90 with high humidity out here in Chicago (I'm assuming it is just as hellish in Milwaukee..) - everytime i think of running I also think "naw, girl, your ass looks good. you can skip this workout." But I went last night and did a speed workout. In the heat. Because I remember when my ass DIDN"T look good. and I don't want to go back to that place ever again. 

So - Jacey - did you end up running? Aside from running in the heat being just about the most miserable thing anyone can do - how is the training going so far?

holiday moonshine

My friend says that I attract crazy like hillbillies to moonshine. She has a point. My life is so full of moonshine right now -  I just want to be a lonely old lady. I give up on men.  I had two dates over the holiday weekend:

Date 1 was a first date on friday.  He said that he most often is told he looks like Justin Timberlakeso my expectations were pretty high.  His head was WAY too small - I"m talking Men in Black alien head small here...and he laughed like a nervous little girl. more like a high pitch giggle. ugh.

The KICKER? He tells ME that it isn't going to work out - like HE has any room to be picky! I'm not saying that I'm a 10 or anything, but getting dumped by a giggling alien headed guy after just one date was kind of a blow!

Date 2 was on Saturday and was the second date with a guy whom I was super excited about but then felt NOTHING for during our first date.  I gave him a second try because maybe we were both nervous on the first date?  Or maybe I had accidently taken one too many xanax and couldn't feel any emotion whatsoever.  In any event - I opted for a second date because this guy is PERFECT on paper.

We go out (he picked a Vegan restaurant which was very thoughtful). its ok. I mean, we get along. He is interesting, smart, and not bad looking. But seriously, I felt NOTHING for him.

 

He tries to impress me by saying he went on a 50 mile ride. Which is an admirable distance (except i used to ride 40-60 miles every single day). But then he completely ruins it by saying that after SUCH A LONG RIDE, he can barely walk and his legs are jello.

Now i'm thinking,  "wow. where did you put your purse on your ride? I mean, you had to keep your lipstick and tampons somewhere."  Don't worry.  I didn't say that.  I'm much nicer after I apply that brain to mouth filter. 

 

He asks where I want to go after dinner and i said "home."  He was very understanding (you must have to get up early tomorrow to run!) but then asks for a ride home because he is too tired to take public transportation.  Now i'm just irritated.  I have to drive him like 6 miles out of my way (and in Chicago, 6 miles takes a while) which i'm not happy about.  He leans over to give me a kiss when he gets out of the car - i'm thinking a peck. but he full on tries to eat my face. And while is prodding me with his tongue, he moans. MOANS. He says "oooh that was SOO much better than last time." (Yeah, last time i was able to turn so he only got to peck my cheek...).

He was sweating like a Brazilian whore in the summertime. I felt so dirty.

I pull back, and say bye. He was leaving for India on sunday so i assumed that he will be gone 2 weeks and i can just ignore him when he gets back and that will be the end of that.

 

God, I was so WRONG.  that SAME NIGHT

he sends me a text asking if i'm free THE FUCKING NIGHT HE GETS BACK because he wants to have me over to his place so he can cook for me and watch movies. Movies. With an "s".  Plural. Guy code for "spend the night."

 

I didn't reply.

 

Sunday - on his way to the airport - he sends a text saying he is off to India. Like we are some sort of couple and he needs to let me know his travel schedule. He wishes that I were going with him and asked what i wanted him to bring me back.  Like we are a god damn couple.  Like we are a god damn couple in a long term relationship.

 

I didn't reply. 

 

I think i'm going to send him a message online telling him that it is over (I mean, i don't want him to have to pay for internataionl texting fees to hear that i'm ending our 2 date apparently committed relationship).

 

Time to invest in sweat pants and cats because this dating thing is NOT for me.

Times new roman is an angry font

I bet you didn't know that, but it is true. I once had a client return a memo that I had written claiming that she couldn't read it because the font was too mean and harsh. I now have to change the font anytime I send her things - so Jacey's disclaimer on font is legit.

Lilly here. I am also a slow runner but I have run a few more races than Jacey. I've done 14 half marathons, one full marathon and one relay race (200 miles split between 12 of us).  I'm currently training for the Chicago full marathon and am aiming for a 50K race in September 2014 (assuming my body holds up!).  I'm determined to get Jacey to the finish line at the Nike race without needing to amputate anything. If I fail, at least she gets a Tiffany's necklace as a consolation from losing a limb. I think we all know that is worth it.

Finally - I spend a lot of time stressing about my dog. I love him and he is my best friend but he is a complete asshole. At age 9 he picked up an awesome new habit of chewing walls and rugs and metal bars. Pretty much anything he can chew will go in his mouth. He also prefers toilet water to Brita water.  He likes to run with me but sometimes he changes his mind after a mile or two and will just lay down. Like an asshole. An asshole that I love.

First Post

Disclaimer:  I'd just like to throw it out there that the font options on blogspot are minimal and this was the least atrocious option-- forgive me for the fug, it's not my fault.  

Hi there.  I'm Jacey.  If you're a slow runner and you haven't run many long distances, SOLIDARITY!!! I run a few times a week and I try to balance the running with Barre workouts and other miscellaneous Class Fitsugar Workouts (shoutout to fitsugar for keeping my butt looking good!!!).  I've got runner's knee, so I'm all about the strength training.  I've run two half marathons--one I trained for and one I decided to wing it.  Let me take this moment to offer some sage wisdom:  DO NOT WING IT on a half marathon.  It's been a few years since my last half marathon and I've repeatedly told people "the only half marathon I'll run is the nike women's half," and so I enter the lottery when I remember.  This year is the 10th anniversary.  I've made it through the lottery, which is awesome, but also terrifying.  Lilly has agreed to be my coach.  I'm concerned that they'll probably cut my leg off at the finish line, Lilly assures me this won't happen. 

Protip: save the tequila for AFTER your run.